


A Winter in Remorse

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: But only for 500 words, Dean is depressing, Guilt, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-30
Updated: 2012-04-30
Packaged: 2017-11-04 14:48:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/395048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean takes a shower.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Winter in Remorse

**Author's Note:**

> The title came from a Carnifex song. Mostly because it was playing while I wrote this, and almost made some semblance of sense.

This is the first decent hotel they’ve had in ages, a little bit of a splurge after Sam found cockroaches under a bed one too many times. He whined so much Dean broke, if only for the silence. And maybe because he badly wanted this too. The sheets are clean and you can actually see through the windows. For them, this is practically the lap of luxury. Dean is just happy to have a nice, hot shower. He stands under the water, already clean but enjoying the heat on his back. The water is still steaming and it pounds against his skin with a heavy drumming. He closes his eyes and sighs, rolling his shoulders into relaxation. Now, all he needs is—“Dean?”  
The sound of Cas’s voice, echoing slightly in the foggy bathroom, makes Dean jump. He opens his eyes, and can’t help the smile that slips briefly across his lips. Cas is standing on the other side of the slightly misted glass door, giving Dean a strange look. Dean raises an eyebrow. He opens the door and gestures toward the spray of water like a doorman, welcoming.  
It seems only moments before Dean is pressed up against the wall, with Cas pressing himself closer and biting and whining and Dean’s whole body is tense. The tile is still cold and it makes Dean shiver but he doesn’t care because this is the first clean shower they’ve had in months and if Sam knew… Dean stops that line of thought as quickly as he can because he doesn’t want to think about it. Especially not when Cas is getting on his knees and Good Lord can angels even do that? He pushes that thought away as well, because what good is sex when you feel guilty during it. He saves that for later.  
Their breath becomes something shared, a give and take and give and take until their breath is hot and sweet and not their own at all. Dean feels he can taste Cas in the air, but that might just be the remnants of the last kiss before Dean has Cas’s chest pressed against the glass door that thankfully stays closed when he pushes into Cas with a whine that he will never admit to.   
Somehow, it seems to take forever and yet is over too fast. After, when Sam is knocking on the door because he heard a strangled sort of shout that could almost have been a name, Dean holds Cas under the water. He lets his forehead rest on the angels shoulder. His whole body is limp, leaning and panting and finally relaxed for the first time in so very long. He knows he has to move, has to turn off the shower and leave Cas and go back to doing whatever it is that he’s supposed to be doing. He knows he’ll do all of that in a moment, because he always does.  
Dean lets his hands slide down slick skin and hates himself. And after, when he is talking to his brother, he knows he’s in love. He hates himself more for that.


End file.
